Some people believe that the only qualifications needed for being a parent are that you were a kid once and that you can procreate!
Yikes! You ask for more qualifications from your employees than your children require of you! No matter where you are in your parenting journey, you’ve undertaken a job that often you are least prepared for and that matters the most.
One gift that your children give to you is requiring you to look in the mirror and truly see yourself, maybe for the first time.
What do you believe about being a parent?
Why do you believe it? What influenced you?
Does it serve you and your family to keep believing it?
What does your partner believe about being a parent?
How do your beliefs align with your partner’s beliefs?
You will find that if you know what you believe, all of your decisions will be clearer and it will be easier for you to keep them. It is hard work to look at these aspects of self, yet, if you ‘raise’ yourself first, you’ll find that raising your children actually gets easier.
Anthony Robbins, the motivational speaker said, “We will act consistently with our view of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not.”
How did you get to be who you are?
What makes you different than anyone else on the planet?
All of your experiences, observations, everything anyone has ever said to you or about you, make up your beliefs about yourself.
Beliefs are not facts (although you might mistake them as such). Beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies. They act as permission, and as barriers, to all that you achieve in life. If your beliefs bring good results, you continue to believe them. If your beliefs bring you negative results, you get to change them!
It is important to be clear about what you believe about yourself as a parent, your family, your partner.
You can start now by answering the following questions, to discover some of your beliefs:
Children are:
Love is:
Siblings are:
Being a working parent is:
My parents are/were:
Saying no is:
Saying yes is:
Discipline is:
To be a successful parent, I need to:
Have your partner answer the same questions…and let the fun begin! Schedule a date and have some deep conversations, discovering what you believe about parenting, children, each other.
Believing in yourself and in your parenting will make a difference in your life, your child’s life and even in the lives of your grandchildren because your children will be firmly grounded in the beliefs you have discovered about yourselves!
Janet Allison is a Parent Educator, Family Coach and Waldorf Educational Consultant. She teaches extensively in the Pacific Northwest on a variety of topics. Her passion is guiding parents and teachers in using language as a catalyst for change, deepening relationships and inspiring confidence. Author of: Discover What You Believe About Being a Parent and Boys Alive! Bring Out Their Best! You can find her at http://www.parenting-advice-from-mom.com and http://www.languageofparenting.com
